A glimpse of my heart....

Since becoming involved in the Women's Ministry at church, I must admit, I have had my feelings of "excited at the possibilities, relationships/friendships, and what God has planned" days and my feelings of "totally overwhelmed, scared and incapable of handling what God has put on my plate" days.

I started reading a book, by Lysa TerKeurst called, A Woman's Secret to a Balanced Life, Finding God's refreshing priorities for you. Well, to give you a little history behind me getting the book..... last week, I was having the "totally overwhelmed, scared and incapable of handling what God has put on my plate" days. I started to search for SOMETHING, I didn't know what I was looking for, I just wanted SOMETHING. So, I opened up my women's ministry binder and began to dive in. Through that, I found this book and 5 others that I thought I needed. Yes, I ordered ALL of them. This book was the first one I received in the mail. It has been on the coffee table a few days, with VBS at church and "Life" in general, I haven't had time to even look at it....

I have been at church every night this week and well, those feelings of "under-qualified, unsure, doubtful, incapable, unworthy, and scared" keep coming. I am teaching Kindergarten and although this week has been a challenge, I feel I am capable of teaching and showing God's love to these kids, but what caused the feelings is this....

Some people (adults) were just joking with each other, poking fun, having fun, but with that they were rattling off Bible verses.... but "Proverbs says" this. I didn't know that verse and I can't rattle off very many verses. So, when I got home last night, worn out and once again feeling those feelings, I picked up this book and WHAT DO YOU KNOW....

"So what are God's qualifications to be used by Him and to have an up close, personal relationship with Him? I think there's just one. "Man looks at the outward apperance, but the Lord looks at the heart." (1 Samuel 16:7) God is looking for devoted hearts, repentant hearts, hearts that are willing to be emptied of self and filled with Him. When a person is willing to let God work on his or her heart, God will make that individual into a new creation. Moses became a leader, David a man after God's own heart, and Rahab forgiven and redeemed. If you could have talked to these individuals in the middle of their history-making ventures, I'm certain you would have heard them use words like "scared, unsure, doubtful, under-qualified, unable, unworthy, and incapable" Aren't you glad God doesn't see things as we do" He didn't see these people as powerful creatures accomplishing great things on their own; He saw them as flawed individuals with hearts willing to have His power flow through them. Maybe you experience some of those same insecure feelings about the call God has placed on your life. Well, please know that what God did to change those people, He can do for you--and He has done for me too."

I have to admit, my heart started overflowing with LOVE and GRATITUDE for God. Although, still I have sooooo much to learn, so much more I want to know about God...."he is not hiding, he is seeking you".

I don't know what God has planned for me, but I WANT to be totally willing to let Him guide my life and be willing to let His power flow through me!

Seems to relate to our Ladies Day, set for November 8, 2008, about finding God in everday life. "Lord, please meet me in the laundry room!" Deuteronomy 4:29 says, "But if from there you seek the Lord your God, you will find Him if you look for Him with all your heart and with all your soul."

"Take two identical jars. One 3/4 full of sand and the other with fist-sized rocks. The jar of sand represents my activities on any given day; to-do lists, shopping, community projects, painting, cleaning, The list is as, endless as, well.... grains of sand. The other jar containing the rocks represents what God wants me to do on any given day; spend time with Him, study His word, and pray. If I fill the jar with large rocks first, then, amazingly, I can pour all of the sand into the same jar and it fits nicely around the spaces and crevices. However, if I begin by filling the jar with sand and then try to squeeze the rocks into the same jar, they won't fit."

Start my day with God and everything else seems to fall into place... Ahhh, refreshing to know God is on my side, all I have to do is MEET him, he is there waiting.

Psalm 139:23-24 "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in everlasting way."

Just sharing a little glimpse into my heart....thanks for "listening".