5 weeks ago

5 weeks ago today, we met our little girl for the first time! Time is flying by!! 6 weeks of bedrest might have been the longest 6 weeks of my life and this 6 weeks of being home with her might be the fastest 6 weeks of my life. I go back to work a week from this Saturday. I am not looking forward to it at all, but I know she will be in good hands. That makes it easier. I wish I could just figure out a way to stay home and still receive those pay checks. I know we all wish for that!!

You know that saying "paying for your raising"?? Well, my daughter who is 5 weeks old.... she gets the milk on her lips and then somehow like blows where it goes into my face when I am feeding her... I told her she is not supposed to spit at her mother! :) My mother, when I told her about Emily spitting at me, just laughed and said; "I am just going to sit back, watch and smile." Personally, I don't think either of them, my mother or my daughter are very funny!! :) HAHA!

My mom sent me a forward today called "A parents job description". I thought it was very good and funny! Enjoy!

JOB DESCRIPTION : Long term, team players needed, for challenging, permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekendsand frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES : The rest of your life.Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5.Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION : None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE : None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION : Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS :While no health or dental insurance, no pension,no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered;this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.